Yellow
by BurningDownTheHouse
Summary: CM Monica reassures Chandler that he is the only man she loves CM


Yellow

Chandler ran all the way to Richard's apartment, hoping to catch Monica before she got there, but he knew deep inside that she was already there, already talking to the love of her life…

He didn't stop for one second, not until he reached the solid door, the words pouring through hitting him again and again, like bullets, sending him further and further back, his wounds open and bleeding.

"Monica, I want to marry you. I've always loved you…getting over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do," Richard's voice came, calm and slow, mature and dignified; more than Chandler could ever be.

He couldn't stay for her response, dreading what it could be, already feeling the tears streaming down his face, like the blood pouring from his heart.

_Look at the stars,  
Look how they shine for you,  
And everything you do,  
Yeah they were all yellow,_

He walked in silent reflection back to their apartment, thinking over the scene currently happening in Richard's home, hearing in his mind Monica accepting the proposal, giving her life back to that man.

Joey stopped him in the hallway, pulling him into a hug, not caring what anyone thought any more. He questioned in a hushed tone, quiet enough for Chandler to ignore, "What happened?"

Chandler muttered in an answer, "I gave her everything I have…I offered her the stars…somehow he gave her more…"

"Monica loves you, Chandler; she loves you, not Richard!" Joey told him forcibly, "You and Monica are meant to be together!"

"I thought that as well, but now he's proposed and she's gonna live the life she deserves with the man that she loves," he began to sob again, falling back against the wall as his body racked.

"If that does happen, then it's going to be with you, Chandler! You and Monica are made for each other, no one else, you hear me?" he insisted.

Chandler turned away from him, now facing the wall as he riffled through his pockets and then began to walk away once more. He called over his shoulder, his voice shaking, "Tell Monica I love her…"

"Where you going?" Joey yelled, trying to stop him, grabbing his arm and holding on.

Chandler shook him off with as much force as he could muster, "The Ocean."_  
__  
__I came along  
I wrote a song for you  
And all the things you do  
And it was called yellow  
_

He caught a cab, telling the driver to take him to the coast, paying as he exited a while later. The cab driver watched him for a minute as he headed out onto the sandy beach in the blistering cold, getting soaked with the rain now falling down in torrential sheets.

When Chandler turned around he saw that he was alone again, free to walk through the hellish weather and kill himself in anyway he saw fit at the time.

Life simply wasn't worth living anymore; he didn't have Monica…and there would never be a replacement. She was the one person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and could not spend the rest of his without.

Chandler yelled out above the roaring waves, "Why? Why did you take her from me? She was the only woman I ever truly loved!"

He fell upon his knees in the hard sand, grazing the palms of his hands on contact with the rough surface. He removed his jacket, first placing the ring box in his pants pocket, and then dumped the garment on the spot he had just knelt upon as he crawled away, struggling to stand again under the weight of the water falling upon him.

_  
So then I took my turn  
Oh all the things I've done  
And it was all yellow  
_

"I'd give the world if I could…I'd give you the universe," he yelled out at the ocean, desperately seeking in his mind what to do next.

Looking up at the sky, facing the rain as it hit him, "Tell me what I have to do to get her back? Give me a sign…anything…"

He fell down again, this time rolling onto his back and watching the sky as sheet upon sheet smashed into him.

He thought of everything they had gone through, every time they had shared a look, each time they hugged, every single kiss…

Nothing was good enough anymore…he cried, letting his tears mingle with the tears of the clouds.

_  
Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
D'you know you know I love you so  
You know I love you so  
_

Joey headed back into his apartment like a shot, running his finger through the telephone directory so fast that paper cuts lined his otherwise untouched skin. Finding Richard's home address, he quickly scribbled a note on the board, in case any of the others would turn up there, and then sprinted flat out towards the place he had looked up, dialing numbers on his cell phone as he went.

Ross picked up at his home phone; "Hey, Joe, what's up?" came his usual light tone, unknowing of circumstances beginning to spread into their network.

"Ross, Chandler's gone to the coast; he thinks Monica doesn't love him and I think he's gonna do something stupid. Will you phone the others and think of something and fast…I'm running to Richard's to find Monica," his breath was becoming increasingly short, and so was thankful for Ross understanding and taking over.

"Meet us outside your apartment as soon as possible, I'll get a cab and the others…you just get Monica, phone me if you have a problem," Ross instructed, hanging up on Joey before he could reply.

Joey shut his cell, shoving it back in his jacket pocket and forcing himself to run even faster as he approached the building.

He banged loudly on Richard's apartment, flinging open the door and walking in. He saw Richard stood by the television whilst Monica sat on the couch, sipping a glass of water.

"Joey," Monica shouted in shock, "What are you doing here?"

"Why are you here with Richard? What about Chandler?" Joey demanded, trying to get the truth out of her before announcing the emergency at hand.

"I'm talking to Richard about how we're in the past, and that I love Chandler, and I want to be with him…" Monica began, being surprisingly open about the topic of conversation.

"Chandler thinks that you love Richard, so he's gone to the coast and he's gonna do something stupid. It's raining heavily and it's freezing cold, and Chandler can't swim!"

"What!" Monica squealed, her voice going high pitched as she realized what was going on.

"Ross is getting a cab and meeting us back at your place…we've got to hurry," he told her, helping her up and rushing her out of the room, not even acknowledging Richard.

_  
I swam across  
I jumped across for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
Cause you were all yellow  
_

He kicked off his shoes, dumping them somewhere near his discarded jacket, dropping the ring box by them, and then ran at the sea. He couldn't swim properly…no one could swim in these violent conditions, but that didn't matter to him any more.

This was the way to end it, the way to end this eternal pain and suffering. He lay back, letting his body float until engulfed by wave after wave, each time pushing him closer to the inevitable…sending him into an unconscious dream, where hurt and evil was not an option.

He knew he'd be safe there; he couldn't feel the harsh sting of love…his heart couldn't punish him any more…this was it.

_  
I drew a line  
I drew a line for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
And it was all yellow  
_

"This is the coast guard, is this an emergency?" came a male voice down Joey's cell phone.

Ross told them, "Yes, my friend may very possibly be contemplating suicide, and all we know is that he's gone to the coast. Please can you see if anyone has appeared near the ocean anywhere? He's average height, mid thirties, white, brown hair, most likely wearing a jacket with pants."

"Yeah, we had a call from a cab driver a while ago; he dropped off your friend. It took us a while to locate him, but we've found him… I think it's best that you come straight to the hospital; he's in a bad condition."

"Thank you," Ross said solemnly, hanging up and then requesting the cab driver divert to the hospital instead.

"What's happened, Ross?" Monica demanded to know, "What's happened to Chandler?"

"They didn't tell me…all they said is that they received an earlier call but it took a while to locate him, so his condition's pretty bad," Ross said in not much more than a mutter, barely able to believe it.

Rachel started crying, sobbing as she held onto Monica, setting both other girls off crying as well, all hugging each other for comfort.

_  
Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
D'you know for you I bleed myself dry  
For you I bleed myself dry_

Chandler could hear the beeping of a heart monitor faintly in the distance, followed by the persisting call of his name, "Chandler, Chandler, Chandler…"

He coughed, moaning in pain as his head felt like it was being pounded continuously.

"Right, he's awake people," came another voice, "Now for the recovery…"

He couldn't recognize anything else for what seemed to be a long time, slipping in and out of sleep, hearing various voices every now and again, but none that he remembered.

"Ok, I think he should be alright for visitors," the doctor told the group, who had now been joined by Chandler's parents, who rushed to see their son at the news of his attempted suicide. "Only one person at a time though."

"Thank you doctor," Rachel said quietly, turning away as he walked in the opposite direction.

"No one wants to go first…do they?" Joey commented after a short while had passed of them all standing in silence, "I guess I'll take that step then…"

He walked with a brave composure into his best friend's room, standing next to the bed and talking as Chandler's eyelids half opened.

"Hey there, buddy, how are you doing?"

Chandler muttered, "Joe, is that you?"

"Yeah," Joey smiled, glad he could still remember him, "Yeah, it's me."

"Who else is here?" Chandler asked sleepily.

"Your mom and dad are here, there's Phoebe and Rachel, Ross and of course Monica. You don't know how worried we've all been about you; I've never seen so many people cry all at the same time."

"Thanks for sticking with me," Chandler said, coughing a little before continuing, "But I don't know if I can do this…I love Monica so much it hurts…I don't want to live without her; I don't think it's possible."

"Dude, Richard loves her, but she loves you…she always has loved you and she always will, trust me. She desperate to see you, man, but she so scared of what happened to you…you need each other."

"Will you ask her to come in?" Chandler requested.

"Sure, I'll be back later," he promised, leaving the room and sending Monica in. She walked in cautiously, standing next to him nervously as everyone watched her through the clear door, the curtain open.

"Hey, sweetie," she said, trying to stay strong and not start crying again, "Joey told me what you told him…and I wanted you to know that…that I will always love you, no matter what, I can't be without you." She broke down again.

He managed to find the strength to sit himself up and pull her close, letting her sit on the edge of his bed and hug him tight.

"I love you so much, Mon…I didn't know what to do without you," he admitted, feeling his own sobs begin to wrack his body against hers.

_  
Its true look how they shine for you_

They stood together on the coast line, staring out to sea, looking at the stars on the horizon. Chandler kissed the top of her head, whispering, "I'd give you everyone of those stars if I could."

"You already have," she told him, holding herself closer to him.

He pushed her away slightly, dropping down on one knee, "Monica, I should have done this before…so many times, but I reckon now is as good as ever. I love you so much; you know I'd die for you… living without you would kill me, and thinking about it almost did. I don't want to spend another day in my entire life without you…will you marry me?"

"Yes," she smiled without a pause as the tears slipped down her smiling face, feeling the love he spoke of as he gently pushed the ring onto her finger.

_look how they shine for you_

A smile…

_  
look how they shine for you_

A kiss…

_  
look how they shine for you_

A vow…

_  
look how they shine for you_

A memory…

_  
look how they shine_

He gave her the stars…

_  
look at the stars look how they shine for you_

She gave him life…

_And all things that you do._

"I do."


End file.
